Two weeks ago I travelled with my wife and kids and brother and his wife and kids to Toronto, the place of my birth. We went for my grandmothers 80th birthday. I hadn't seen my extended family in seven years and they had not met my children so it was a special time for me.
I was unaware that I was spiritually low when I went. I had become side tracked with doing ministry. Yes God is speaking to me about living a balanced life as I wrote before but that's not what I'm talking about. Ministry IS listening to God daily for marching orders. Ministry is NOT my agenda.
God was very gracious to me over the five days I was in Toronto. Unable to do ministry I was left to talk with God, to listen to Him, to hear what He had to say to me without the noise of ministry, of strategies. He reminded me that I was not qualified to win people to God, to convert people to Christianity, to change the youth, to make them disciples by my events that I plan. He reminded me that I am one person who can only do one thing. I am created to do one thing. I am made for one thing and only one thing. I am made to turn to Him. I am created to need Him. My job as pastor is to hide in Him.
I came away from my vacation alone with God with two specific thoughts. #1. Spend more time with people. It's extremely easy to spend an entire day in my office planning and not see anyone. He wants me to be with people. #2. God loves me so much. To Him I am his son. He wants me to succeed. He is slow to anger and he desires to give me all things. I don't know who is reading this but I know in my own life I feel often like I'm not doing enough for God, that I'm failing somehow. Sometimes God uses this method to tell us something, but more than often Satan uses this same method to bring us down, to slow our running to God. I know I get depressed some times thinking I'm not qualified for my job (and as a father). God reminded me that I'm not qualified. No one is, that's not the point. The point is to turn to God, to seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness and the rest will be added.
I was reminded again of God's love and mercy and grace because I know this lesson that He again has to teach me. Will I ever get it? Will we ever scratch the surface of understanding the awesome love of God?
I was unaware that I was spiritually low when I went. I had become side tracked with doing ministry. Yes God is speaking to me about living a balanced life as I wrote before but that's not what I'm talking about. Ministry IS listening to God daily for marching orders. Ministry is NOT my agenda.
God was very gracious to me over the five days I was in Toronto. Unable to do ministry I was left to talk with God, to listen to Him, to hear what He had to say to me without the noise of ministry, of strategies. He reminded me that I was not qualified to win people to God, to convert people to Christianity, to change the youth, to make them disciples by my events that I plan. He reminded me that I am one person who can only do one thing. I am created to do one thing. I am made for one thing and only one thing. I am made to turn to Him. I am created to need Him. My job as pastor is to hide in Him.
I came away from my vacation alone with God with two specific thoughts. #1. Spend more time with people. It's extremely easy to spend an entire day in my office planning and not see anyone. He wants me to be with people. #2. God loves me so much. To Him I am his son. He wants me to succeed. He is slow to anger and he desires to give me all things. I don't know who is reading this but I know in my own life I feel often like I'm not doing enough for God, that I'm failing somehow. Sometimes God uses this method to tell us something, but more than often Satan uses this same method to bring us down, to slow our running to God. I know I get depressed some times thinking I'm not qualified for my job (and as a father). God reminded me that I'm not qualified. No one is, that's not the point. The point is to turn to God, to seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness and the rest will be added.
I was reminded again of God's love and mercy and grace because I know this lesson that He again has to teach me. Will I ever get it? Will we ever scratch the surface of understanding the awesome love of God?
